My Brother is Leaving

I haven't written in a while. A lot has been going on that I just haven't felt that I could air out in public...at least as public as this is. But, life goes on and I'm still moving forward.

In about 5 and a half hours my younger brother is leaving to move to NY. In a way, I'm so happy for him. I know about having dreams. I can see that his talents as a chef have outgrown Greenville and its restaurants. I understand that he needs a bigger place and bigger opportunities. But, his leaving has still left me feeling a lot of regret. Regret for not really knowing him in a long time. We have different schedules--me with a baby to take care of and him working the restaurant schedule. Occasionally the entire family gets together on his nights off and he cooks for us and those are some of my favorite times. But still, I don't know him and now he's leaving.

The most important thing I know about him is something that I recognize no matter how little we see each other, and I pray that this will never change about him: my little brother has the best heart. He is so caring in a quiet and almost shy way. I'm sad that I won't see that for a while.

Why didn't I make more of an effort to spend time with him? Are we just too different? I've always felt a bit on the outside of my family looking in. I'm different from all of them in that I'm such the traditionalist. Both my parents are very athletic and I don't have that. Chad is into theater, music and big cities. He's so bold and outgoing. Jason is fun in a crowd and a super talented chef. They are each such individuals and so special in their own right. I don't really have a stand out talent and I'm big on following rules. But, we all love each other and I know in my heart that no matter where we all live, we'll always cherish the times we have together.

Bye little brother, I wish you all the best in the big city.